Photos

Someone sent me a message on a "meeting" website the other day. This means very little to me. I don't particularly care. I don't need to pay attention. But I open each message and will generally reply if someone took the time to send a message to me.
But not to this one. The message in a nutshell said that my photos are not "good enough" and it would be a good idea to get off the site.

Now, anyone who has seen my self pictures on Facebook would probably have to agree that I do not take them overly seriously. In fact, I celebrate the strange and obscure. I am not ever going to be a model, and I am never going to try hard enough or eat little enough to make the attempt worthwhile.

So, to this message I responded in the actual sensible and worthy way. I deleted the message. And then worried for about half an hour that, yes, maybe I am a fool and I give of the impression of just being ridiculous. That I am not using the web to my advantage. Oh... and then I got over it again.

But it occurs to me that other people are far more serious about what they look like. Or more what they aspire and want others to believe they look like. Sexiness equates to popularity which equates to self worth.

There is a person on my Facebook who encapsulates this perfectly. He has been on my friend list for several years, I believe. I have met him. I don't believe many others have. This person has about seven or eight photos, and these pictures rotate as profile picture, making sure that they pop up on everyone's feed to make the comments keep on flowing.

Except, they are not photos of him.

As I said, I have met this guy. But I think, even so, that he does not think I realise the photos are not him. That I will just blindly swallow the concept that they were taken by a professional photographer some years ago.
It's a big concept to swallow. Especially as the seven pictures are not even of the same person. One is clearly a different person to all the other shots.

Anyhow, recently this person added some actual pictures of himself. They were every day, relaxed shots. The sort of photos I would and probably do take of myself. The kind of photos I happily post whenever.
However, this person lost several (as in double digit) friends off his page, following the posting. He was incensed. He felt betrayed and hurt by these people. With their rejection of him, because they didn't like him as much because he was not in the same shape as he used to be in.

I hold my tongue and that is difficult.
What I really want to say is:

"Noone knows what shape you used to be in, you dickhead, because noone has seen any photos of you. People have deleted you because they have realised that you played them for fools. That you made yourself out to be a model like man and that is all untrue."

I find it amazing that this guy does not see that his deceit, which is ongoing even after his actual pictures appeared, does anger other people. That when you lie to people and make them feel that they have been foolish, they generally want to cut ties with you. He honestly sees it as other people being shallow.

True fact. People are shallow. People appreciate beauty. People can be cruel about people that they do not find to be figures of beauty. That doesn't make invention of your own image and theft of other people's property acceptable. And you have noone to blame but yourself when these people turn away from you.

I feel thankful that I overcame my own issues with my own looks. Some days I feel ugly. Some days I feel awfully overweight and old. And some days I think I am doing pretty well. Some days I want to wear tight shirts and go hang out in a public place.
I will warn people the next time I feel the need to do that, don't worry.

But this person's story, as well as many others, regarding anorexia and other eating disorders, depression and obsessions, highlights how damaging self image and worth can be. To convince yourself that you are this totally other person; to avoid the reality looking at you in the mirror, to feel anger that people don't accept the truth once revealed; it's all very strange.
And sad.

So, dear people, this is why I embrace the ludicrosity (If it isn't a word it should be) of my own photos. Love yourself and enjoy what you do.